STARRING the SHACK-DWELLING…
(a) … gruff, misanthropic lumberjack. A classic! (Is it possible to be an independent shack-dwelling lumberjack any more? Maybe a hunter/wilderness guide/mountain man would be more realistic. Fisherman?)
(b) … hippie artist or back-to-the-land type who moved to the sticks to get away from the relentless capitalism of the big city (Suggested locations: the Sunshine Coast, Nelson, Saltspring Island. There isn’t actually a Tim’s on Saltspring, but trust me, plunk one down for instant hilarity.)
(c) … pot farmer (Suggested location: Nelson again.)
… who is irresistibly drawn, despite their hatred of population centres/big corporations/the possibility of being caught by the RCMP, to the WINSOME TIM’S EMPLOYEE who…
(a) … has big dreams of the big city and is saving up to move out of the sticks! All of their quirky friends also work at Tim’s!
(b) … can’t, for whatever reason, get a better job! The economy sucks, they’re underqualified, they’re overqualified, they’ve been a stay-at-home parent and/or an escaped criminal with a huge gap in their employment record… shit, this is getting too real, ABORT MISSION.
(c) … is actually an undercover cop, hoping to suss out wrongdoing in the local community! Tim’s is obviously the ideal cover, because you don’t have to seek out your quarry, they’ll come to you. Everyone comes to Tim’s eventually.
(d) … is a revolutionary, infiltrating Tim’s in order to bring down their evil monopoly over the Canadian coffee and donut market — and the hearts and minds of the Canadian populace! — from the inside out. Possibly they want to establish an independently-owned fair trade organic cafe in place of Tim’s; alternately, Tim’s is merely the first step in their master plan to bring down the whole system. First we take Tim Hortons, then we take Ottawa!
(e) is a corporate spy, infiltrating Tim’s in order to bring down their inconvenient monopoly over the Canadian coffee and donut market from the inside out. Obviously, their true master is an American chain. The shack-dweller’s irresistible Canadianness moves them to repent of their evil ways.
WAIT NO I’ve just thought of something that is better than any of the above. A shack-dwelling MAPLE SYRUP FARMER and an UNDERCOVER (at Tim’s) RCMP OFFICER who slowly win each other’s trust and hearts and through the POWER OF LOVE bring down an INTERNATIONAL RING OF MAPLE SYRUP THIEVES. (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/police-probing-quebec-maple-syrup-heist-worth-up-to-30-million/article4510740/) For their service to the nation they are awarded the Order of Canada. They live blissfully ever after on the maple syrup farm and adopt a family of beavers as pets.